On pain and sorrow, and everything in between

This post is for me – primarily. To remind me of what I have thought and felt while my mind is clear. I will give little thought to grammar or structure. They mean little. May this be up close and personal. When the time comes when I feel like I can no longer bear the burdens of this life, I hope this reminds me of what could keep me going.

Life has been quite difficult for the past many years. It really has been. It feels like a lucid dream where you are in pain. The wrenching affliction persists and you writhe agonisingly, hoping it stops but it doesn’t. It never stops. Never. What you feel is real.

Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if I weren’t Christian. Maybe it would. Maybe not. I have no clue – I have no benefit of hindsight. Breathe. I console myself that my great reward is eternal in Christ. I wish that weren’t true. I wish God didn’t exist. I really do. Dostoevsky said, “if God is dead, then everything is permissible”. That would be great, wouldn’t it? It’d be every man for himself, doing whatever he wishes however he wishes. But at this very moment I cannot convince myself that God is not real, or that He is dead. Rather, I am quite certain that He is real and alive. The Gospel and biblical narratives are far too raw to be fairytale or fiction. The letters of Paul are full of passion and struggle. Everything forces me to examine the life I am living and ponder – is there more to this than my eyes can see? I believe there is. Period. At least, this is what is keeping me going – believing that there is purpose in my pain and sorrow and everything in between.

Was listening to Begg’s sermon a couple of days back. He was preaching from the text in 1 Peter 5. Speaking on the struggles in ministry/the Christian life, he said, “It’s surely fascinating that some of the most profoundly helpful hymns have more than a tinge of difficulty at the very heart of them.”

When peace like a river attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
“It is well, it is well with my soul.”

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control:
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and has shed his own blood for my soul.

Spafford wrote these words in his great grief following the death of all four of his daughters when their ship sank in a collision at sea.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flow’r.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan his work in vain;
God is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain.

Cowper wrote these words in the deep anguish of his soul – 3 times he attempted suicide and landed himself in a mental asylum. His struggle persisted till the day he passed on.

I cannot even begin to imagine what they must have felt in their pain and their grief. A lonely boat in the thrashing of waves. Perhaps this sort of embattled life is truly the mark of one who would follow Christ.

Tozer puts it well: You cannot carry a cross in company. Though a man were surrounded by a vast crowd, his cross is his alone and his carrying of it marks him as a man apart. His Godgiven instincts cry out for companionship with others of his kind, others who can understand his longings, his aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ; and because within his circle of friends there are so few who share his inner experiences he is forced to walk alone.

My cross is heavy, and only I can carry it. I long for the day when this burden will be lifted, but until then may there be joy in my sorrows. May there be quiet assurance. Things may not get better but may I bear upon these with the strength that comes from my hope in Christ. May I find strength even when I am down and out to cry out – it is well with my soul; blessed be His name. May I cling on tightly to Christ all the days of my life.

Ending thoughts will be from 1 Peter 5. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

How do we “hear God’s voice”?

“Which university should I go to?”
“Which job should I apply for?”
“How do I solve this problem?”

Among other things, these are some of the questions we grapple with in life. We are met with many tough decisions and seasons, and many times we turn to divine guidance and we ask, “God, what should I do?” or “God, please speak to me.”

It is not uncommon among Charismatic circles to expect extra-biblical revelation. We respond to altar calls, and expect God to speak to us in an audible voice. We look forward to a certain warm, fuzzy feeling. But when we are left with no thing, we get disappointed and we question, “God, why have you not spoken?”

The fact is that he has, and he still is – through His written Word.

“The fact is that as I’d strived to hear God speak, I’d subconsciously relegated the Bible to a lower level than other ways of knowing him, such as hearing an audible voice.”

This is a problem many of us struggle with. But let us be sure that the Bible alone is enough.

“Though extra-biblical communication with God may exist, it cannot replace or even come close in importance as hearing God speak to us through the Bible.”

In Paul’s letter to the Hebrews, he reminds them that “the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)

In other words, though the word of God was recorded down many thousands of years ago with pen on paper (or with whatever writing materials available in ancient times), it is alive, it still speaks to us today and works in our hearts as we study it.

Now that we know that the word of God is living and active, is it enough though? Is God’s written word sufficient to lead and guide us in the way that we should live, in the path of sanctification to make us more like Christ?

Paul reminds Timothy in his letter that “all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

That is, ALL Scripture originated from God himself, and is useful for teaching, reproof, correction and training in righteousness, SO THAT the man of God may be COMPLETE and EQUIPPED for EVERY GOOD WORK.

God’s written word is enough, when read, explained and understood, to mold a man to be like Christ.

How do we know when God is speaking to us apart from the reading or teaching of Scripture? We check it with the primary source!

Rhema – the spiritual Word, must always agree with Logos – the scriptural Word, because God is always consistent. We ought not to believe in a word from any other source apart from the Scriptures. Instead, we test everything and hold fast to only what is good (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

Then again, to be able to do that we need to be sufficiently familiar with the Bible. And that requires hardwork and diligence – there are no shortcuts. We put in effort to study God’s word so that in good time, we bear good fruit.

We remember Psalm 1,

Blessed is the man
    who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
    nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree
    planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
    and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

May God help us to love and obey His Word.

Quotes from YMI

What I learnt from Paul’s letter to the Romans (Romans 2:17-29 ESV)

But if you call yourself a Jew and rely on the law and boast in God and know his will and approve what is excellent, because you are instructed from the law; and if you are sure that you yourself are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of children, having in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth— you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law. For, as it is written, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” For circumcision indeed is of value if you obey the law, but if you break the law, your circumcision becomes uncircumcision. So, if a man who is uncircumcised keeps the precepts of the law, will not his uncircumcision be regarded as circumcision? Then he who is physically uncircumcised but keeps the law will condemn you who have the written code and circumcision but break the law. For no one is a Jew who is merely one outwardly, nor is circumcision outward and physical. But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God.
Romans 2:17‭-‬29 ESV

In the earlier section of Romans 2, Paul addresses the Gentiles who do not have the law but are bound by the law. In this section Paul addresses his kinsmen – the Jews.

This section of Romans can be broken down into 2 main sections. In Romans 2:17-24, Paul talks about the law that was given to Israel by God. In Romans 2:25-29 Paul talks about circumcision – the mark of God’s covenant with the Jews.

“But if you call yourself a Jew…”

Paul was bringing about the same message in Romans 2:1-16 that the Jews have broken the law. Since it is quite apparent that Paul is talking about the Jews here, what has this got to do with us as Christians?

We are right that Paul was talking to the religious Jews, who were a people that took pride in their moral uprightness and their special position as God’s covenant people. But if Paul was present and alive today and speaking to the Church, I can imagine him saying, “If you call yourself a Christian… “

If you call yourself a Christian, a believer of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, saved and redeemed from eternal death into a glorious hope – do you obey God’s commands? Because Jesus said so himself, “If you love me, you will keep my commands.” (John 14:15)

Yet how many who call themselves Christians, who go to church, or who have said the sinner’s prayer are far from the kingdom of God? “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” Can the same be said of the Christian church today? Do people see Christians as hypocrites?

It is true that until sanctification is complete we fall short – we fail to love God and obey his commands fully. But Paul in his other letter to the Philippians reminds us to “work out (our) salvation with fear and trembling.” (Philippians 2:12) In other words, we are to actively pursue obedience and press on toward the goal of Christ-likedness. Let us hold this to heart.

But we have circumcision too!

Paul goes on to talk about circumcision for the Jews. “For circumcision is indeed of value if you obey the law but if you break the law, your circumcision becomes uncircumcision.”

The same thing can be said of the sinner’s prayer, or of baptism, worship or any other aspect of Christian living or ministry. That is, apart from true repentance and personal faith in Jesus Christ as saviour and Lord, all of these are of no value. They do not save us nor guarantee salvation.

That is something we have to understand. Just because I attend church, or just because I have said the sinner’s prayer, or just because I know the Gospel, does not make me a Christian. A true Christian is one that realises the depth and seriousness of sin and his need for a saviour that can be found only in Jesus Christ. He must believe, and he must repent. God open our hearts to see this urgent truth.

God’s election

Paul continues with an important message – “No one is a Jew who is merely one outwardly, nor is circumcision outward and physical. But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God.”

What is interesting is that Paul doesn’t say that you don’t have to be a Jew to be saved. Instead he makes clear that you have to be a true Jew. And this salvation is “by the Spirit”. That is good news. Because that means we cannot work our way to salvation, but that salvation is one hundred percent a gift and a result of God’s sovereign election.

In just this short passage Paul tears down the very things the Jews have put their confidence in – the Law and circumcision of the flesh. Paul points out clearly that no man is good, that no man can save themselves. But only God is good, and only God alone can save.

In justification the word to address to man is believe – only believe; in sanctification the word must be “watch, pray and fight.” What God has divided let us not mingle and confuse.

J. C. Ryle

Post-BMT Reflections

Many Singaporean sons would say BMT is one of the most memorable events in life. From section bonding to the most dreaded combat circuits and field camp, I too concede that BMT has been tough but memorable.

Despite so, I could have done better as a Christian going through his first phase of army life. I could have been a better example of Christ. I could have been more proactive in sharing the Gospel in my conversations with my section mates. I could have been a little more selfless and caring. I could have initiated fellowship with other Christians around. I could have guarded my time with God better.

But I didn’t.

Moreover, BMT has opened my eyes to how fallen we all are. Hot conversation topics during admin time include women, sex and other vices. The ubiquity of profanities and crude language is at the very least regrettable.

How in this environment can a Christian thrive? Today, as I read 1 Thessalonians, I learnt about the believers in Thessalonica and the hostile environment they were in.

The Thessalonians’ Faith and Example

² We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, ³ remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁴ For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, ⁵ because our gospel came to you not only in word, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction. You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake. ⁶ And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction, with the joy of the Holy Spirit, ⁷ so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia. ⁸ For not only has the word of the Lord sounded forth from you in Macedonia and Achaia, but your faith in God has gone forth everywhere, so that we need not say anything. ⁹ For they themselves report concerning us the kind of reception we had among you, and how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, ¹⁰ and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, Jesus who delivers us from the wrath to come.

1 Thessalonians 1:2-10

Paul in this passage talks about God’s election of the Thessalonian believers evident from their believing of the Gospel. As a result, we see the fruit of their conversion as them becoming imitators of Paul and Jesus, becoming an example to all believers in the region, the advancement of the Gospel and them turning from idols to serve the living and true God.

How can I become an imitator of Paul and Jesus? And how can I be an example to other believers serving NS? Paul tells us that the Thessalonians received the word in much affliction, with the joy of the Holy Spirit. That means we hold on to the Gospel tightly even in the face of hostility towards it. That means we do not compromise on our Christian convictions by choosing to sit out of certain conversations even when others may deem us a wet blanket.

How can I advance the Gospel in NS? Paul tells us that the word of the Lord sounded forth from the Thessalonians. The advancement of the Gospel requires a verbal witness. Paul reminds us here that unless we are willing to witness with our lips, we are far from the kingdom.

Lastly, we ought to turn from idols to serve the living and true God. This means daily warring against our carnal nature and choosing to obey God’s commands. We set our eyes not on things or fickle pleasures of this world, but on an eternal hope that is in Christ.

My experience in NS thus far seems to have painted a terrible picture of humanity, but Paul confirms this terrible picture as true in his letter to the Romans.

“None is righteous, no, not one;
¹¹     no one understands;
    no one seeks for God.
¹² All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
    no one does good,
    not even one.”
¹³ “Their throat is an open grave;
    they use their tongues to deceive.”
“The venom of asps is under their lips.”
¹⁴     “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
¹⁵ “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
¹⁶     in their paths are ruin and misery,
¹⁷ and the way of peace they have not known.”
¹⁸     “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Romans 3:10-18

The Gospel is the rebellious, sinful, wretched and depraved man’s only saving grace from the wrath of God. This is why the Gospel so important.

In a few days time, I will be receiving my posting orders to a new unit. I pray the word of God will grip my heart to take all necessary action to be salt and light to my peers in NS. Pray with me.

Where is God In COVID-19?

There were some present at that very time who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And he answered them, “Do you think these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”

Luke 13:1-5

Why this COVID-19? Why are only some infected (period)? Is it because ‘karma’? Were the infected worse sinners?

Luke 13 gives us some answers – the deaths of the Galileans and the eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell was not due to exceptional sin. i.e. they were not worse sinners than others. Jesus doesn’t tell us the reason why those events happened, but instead points us to our dire need for repentance. “But unless you repent, you will likewise perish.” That is the greater spiritual reality.

The same it is for Covid-19.

But isn’t it unfair? How can a good God allow such tragedies to happen to people?

We look back at the beginning in Genesis 2:15-17. “The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” God made it clear to Adam that the consequence of his disobedience was immediate death. Yet in spite of Adam’s sin, he lived another day, and another and another. That is the mercy of God extended to all of mankind in spite of our rebellion – that he endures with patience vessels fit for destruction (Romans 9:22), that he shows kindness and forbearance and patience to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4).

The fact that we are alive in this moment is an infinite act of God’s mercy towards us. We deserve much worse.

Other Bible passages to read and think about: Romans 1:18-32, Romans 9

“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”

How can God say that and still be just? He can because he is exercising mercy upon sinners. No one can shake his fist at God justly, yet plenty do, saying, “That’s not fair. You have given me a bad deal.” No sinner has the right to say with impunity, “God you owe me grace.” If grace is owed, it is not grace. The very essence of grace is its voluntary character. God reserves to himself the sovereign, absolute right to give grace to some and withhold grace from others.

R. C. Sproul on Romans 9:14-18

What is God doing?

–          The story of His Glory https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/the-story-of-his-glory

From cover to cover in Scripture, we see God at work for the praise of His glorious name. God created us for his glory (Isaiah 43:6-7). God rescued Israel from Egypt for his glory (Psalm 106:7-8). God forgives our sin for his own sake (Isaiah 43:25). God delivered Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the fiery furnace and Daniel from the lions so that the pagan kings of the most powerful empires of their time would praise the God of Israel and declare to all their people that this God is worthy to be praised (Daniel 3:28-29, 6:25-27). Paul later writes in his letter to the Romans that he received grace and apostleship through Christ to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of God’s name among all the nations.

It is the same today. Though some cry foul and bemoan the fate of the world amidst covid-19, we have reason to hope and trust that the all sovereign and mighty God holds the world in his hands. He has permitted the spread of the virus that He may accomplish his purposes through it.

What we can do?

Keep connected with the body of Christ

Pray

Remember the Gospel

–          As of 23^rd April 2020, there are more than 1.7 million active reported cases of covid-19 around the world with more than 180 thousand reported deaths. The numbers are still rising. We frown at the number of deaths with disdain, and rightfully so, because death is unnatural.

–          The Joshua Project estimates that 41.6% of the world is unreached with the Gospel. Using that estimate, we have about 3.19 billion people in the world that are unreached. That’s excluding people who have heard the Gospel but have yet to respond to it.

–          Bringing things locally, we have about 1 million people unreached with the Gospel, not counting those who have yet to respond to it.

–          These are big numbers, and it is the mission of the church to preach the Gospel to every people group on the face of this earth.

–          As believers, the Gospel should shape our actions. In a time like this when everyone feels at least slightly distressed by the changes to their lives and the spread of the virus, we can present the hope in Christ that is unshakeable. We can present the Good News that has broken the sting of sickness and death.

Help others

• Thir.st Singaporeans, here’s how you can help: 5 initiatives to get you onboard while you #StayHome

Singaporeans, here’s how you can help: 5 initiatives to get onboard while you #StayHome

• Thir.st #StayHome and do what? Here’s a list of ideas to spend your screen time wisely 

#StayHome and do what? Here’s a list of ideas to spend your screen time wisely

Resources

• Ligonier Ministries Resource “The Coronavirus and the Christian Faith” 

https://www.ligonier.org/learn/collections/coronavirus/?utm_medium=redirect

Apart from articles, messages and answers to questions about COVID-19, Ligonier Ministries has also made Bible study guides and their entire teaching series library free this season. Too good to be true!

• Coronavirus and Christ by John Piper

https://www.desiringgod.org/books/coronavirus-and-christ

Wow! A well-rounded resource that tackles God’s character and works in light of the coronavirus situation. Great read.  

• How do we make sense of the coronavirus?

https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/how-do-we-make-sense-of-the-coronavirus

• Something Needs to Change: A Call to Make Your Life Count in a World of Urgent Need by David Platt

Preacher David Platt invites us to trek with him on the mountains of the Himalayas and finds himself confronted with seismic questions and real needs. A good read this season!

Final thoughts

Covid-19 is a great link to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Let us not waste the opportunities to share this Gospel with those around us.